29

I have been feeling poorly lately. Battling a sore throat, sore ears, congested head, and a hacking cough has drained me of what little energy I usually have.

My mind feels cloudy and detached, but a ray of sunshine arrives tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I turn 29.

ThimblecakesBirthdayCupcakeSingle_1024x1024

This birthday is A BIG DEAL, my friends. The last year of my twenties begins. Now, I realize time is arbitrary and does not exist as linear as we tend to perceive, but since when has that stopped me from dwelling on the past and worrying constantly about the future?

I have a difficult time living in the moment. I would like to change that.

I hope to try that, tomorrow; living in the moment.

Last year, I kept it lowkey and went to dinner with a couple good friends. I was working in an office, grateful to have a job three months after graduating college. The person I was seeing gave me a gigantic stuffed animal for my birthday gift.

Little did I know, that job and that relationship would be factors in a breakdown roughly three months down the road.

Funny, isn’t it, what we don’t see coming? Yet, in hindsight, the issues are glaringly obvious. The things we told ourselves are ‘no big deal’ turn out to be the huge red flags waving around, all but shouting, ‘pay attention!’

If, if, if…

Time to stop living in the past.

Time to be kinder to myself.

 

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